Skins is a fairly recent addition to the E4 line-up but by the way they’re plugging it senseless it must clearly be one of the more expensive shows on the channel. For gods sake, how much can the rights to show Friends endlessly cost?! This weeks episode (E4, 15th Feb, 10:00-11:05pm) was more than funny in parts and as it contained 75% male nudity I thought I would treat you to some (lots) screen captures. If you like Skins you’ll love all the extra content over on the Skins website.

This is the episode of Chris Miles, 17 from Bristol. Chris (his skins profile) is played by Joe Dempsie. We descover more about his drug use, family situation and his body in this installment of Skins. I quite like Chris on a few levels - one of which is we share an admiration of Isambard Kingdom Brunel - he’s also mildly attractive, especially when he’s got his beany-cap on…

The opening sequence starts with Chris waking up with a hard-on having taken ‘Erectagra’ the night before.

Chris pins the empty box of viagra substitute to his wall of drugs

He then descovers how hard it is to have a piss with an erection. In the struggle with his dick he manages to piss in his face.

Plan B involves climbing in to the shower and wrapping himself in the shower curtain.

Having successfully drained the lizard he makes his way downstairs for breakfast. Not wanting to be an exhibitionist he covers up.

Clothes are of no use to this chap, instead he hooks a shower cap on his hard-on and pops in some Pop Tarts

But whats this sitting on the counter-top. An envelope with his name on!

An envelope containing £1000 in cash left by his mother. The message on the back informs him that his mum has gone away for a few days. He’s told to be good.

What self-respecting drugged up teenager with a ranging hard-on wouldn’t throw a party for him and his friends?! Chris wastes no time and gets one organised. Within the day the money is spent. Most of it on a brand new sound system for the party.

The morning after the night before and Jal and Chris drink some stolen milk. Jal enquires about Chris’s mum and where she is. He doesn’t know - Jal looks worried.

Later on, Chris goes to his mum’s room looking for £14 to go towards the bill for a pile of pizzas [what kindof pizza place delivers pizzas first thing in the morning?] only to find her room cleared out. Not a sausage is left.

This shocks Chris and he looks distinctly upset. As an act of defence he climbs in to his mothers empty wardrobe and shuts the door. When some his pals come looking a moment later his movement in the wardrobe sends it crashing to the floor.

Like something from Alien Vs Ikea Chris bursts through the up-turned cupboard to announce his mum had cleared her stuff out and that his ‘knob has gone down’. Tony remarks that it looks bigger; champion!

Having fully reallised the severity of the situation - given his mum has run away and left him alone - Chris reallises he might need some of the cash he squandered back. He however fails to return or pawn his one-day-old sound system as it now has a Pop Tart lodge in the CD tray. Alternatively Sid and him wheel it down to a scrap yard to see if his drug dealer (credited as Fat Bastard but actually Onslow from Keeping Up Appearances) will buy it off him. Only being offered £20 for it Chris decides to get that credit in the form of a new drug known as ‘Retro Eastern Blocks’. Cue the montage of Chris doing crazy things to his fish tank.

The following morning Chris gets up to a very different house, it’s been totally fucked probably by him on his trip. The place is a state.

This is where things get weird and distinctly more naked

Seemingly not bothered with the state of his house Chris disposes of a dead fish and then gets in to the shower. Foolishly he didn’t pull back the shower curtain very far before getting in because as soon as he gets the water on a leg rises up from within the bath and gives him a good kick out. Chris tumbles to the floor dragging the shower cutain with him to reveal that a dread-locked-hippy-type bloke was trying to sleep in the bath.

I like the way the bloke in the bath is credited as ‘Fighting Bath Man’ at the end of the show

A shocked Chris isn’t willing to let some vagabond live in his bath and makes a good effort to drag the bastard out.

Check out the low-hanging ball sack that makes it round his arse.

But the fighting bath man fights back and manages to throw Chris (or atleast a similarly naked stunt double) down a flight of stairs.

And in another ensuing battle in the hallway the hippy gets the real upper hand and chucks Chris out through his own front door.

Having not managed to get any reasoning from the hippy through the letter box Chris gives in and walks off down the street - still very naked.

In the distance of some of these shots you see some very shocked Bristol residents - it looks like the streets weren’t closed for the filming.

Chris makes it to college but apparenly his nude arrival on campus makes quite an impression and a crowd gathers around the room where he is being consoled by his favourite teacher - the one he has quite a thing for. Chris’s friends try to cheer him up but the only one showing real sympathy for his situation is Jal. It transpires that contrary to his friends assumptions Chris does have a dad.

In the next scene we see Chris and Jal arriving at the home of his Father. He isn’t home right now but the pair are shown in by a confuzzled Mary - Chris’s stepmum (I assume). To make conversation Mary digs out an old baby photo of Chris only to be categorically told that the child in the picture was in fact Peter, his brother.

Chris then tries a little harder to get in to the moment by going over to his sleeping baby step-brother and picking him up to cradle.

Rather un-explainably Chris just drops the baby to the floor, with quite a thud.

They all look on in horror.

May I say that in my opinion the baby-drop scene was probably the funniest part of the episode - had me in stitches :D P.S. the baby was fine and Mary didn’t seem to mind. But even so Chris bolts from the house and finds himself in a cemetary. Jal manages to find him and as they sit together she is told of how Peter used to stick-up for and protect Chris when he needed the help in his early youth. There was clearly a strong bond there.

When the pair leave the cemetary the grave stone Chris was leaning against is revealed as that of his dead brother, Peter.

The final segment of the show sees Chris being helped by his teacher, Angie into a room in the college halls. His temporary new lodgings couldn’t be more welcome to the home-less Chris. As a special treat, Angie gives him a goldfish but apparently a bowl couldn’t be found so instead the tiny fishy was presented in a pint glass.

Chris walks in to the room (that very much resembles the rooms I had in halls at uni) and sits on the bed. Having a look in the draws he curiously finds a can of shaving foam and a box of Erectagra tablets. He wastes no time in popping one out of the sealed packet and swallows it with a mouthful of water from the fishy-pint-pot. As Chris pins the box to the pin-board he smiles a very comfortable smile. You could say things are on the up!